In The Key of Tired

So I just wrote an incredibly long and intense blog.
Unfortunately you won't see it because for some reason unbeknownst to me it just disappeared.
As Blogger was saving it, it experienced an error and deleted it.
I'm a bit in shock and very much cheesed off.
I'm going to try and rewrite it as close to the original as I can...
So in the mean time, here's a poem I wrote back in January.
Please enjoy (or at least try to).


In the Key of Tired

The sultry echoes of a love song crawl up the stairs and find the emptiness behind my eyes I have worked so long for.
The notes play like the screams of strings tortured by the endless plucking of a soul sick with obsession.
Involuntarily, a groan rises within me as well.
"Turn that crap down!" I implore in my most intimidating tone.
A scoff is the elicited reply.
The volume rises.
Nausea takes full affect.
Now the plea is berating. The music begs me to cave, to allow a moment of longing, to admit my admission:
I just might be lonely.
I slam the door, and wedge a towel in the crack.
Never.
I am stronger than the mass-marketed, lust-laced, emotionally unstable attempts at heartstring-yanking propaganda.
Who actually dreams of wedding bells and candlelight?
"You do",
Something mischievously whispers.
I punch my stereo on, and relief is found in aggressive distraction.
The gut-curdling groans seem lovelier than the lilting lullabies still wafting up the stairs.
Yet persistence has earned its reward,
Gooeyness has lodged itself in the playback of my mind.
A catchy hook caught me.
I curse the optimism of my sister, and seethe in my cynicism, cranking the dial till I am positive the neighbors equally engage in my frustration.
What's wrong with me?
No.
I won't sink there.
Not tonight.
The track ends.
I mute the stereo in submission.
Muffled melodies find my consciousness once again.
She is singing along.
A shallow sigh finds its way out.
It's over.
He's found me.
His chapter has ended, and somehow he's wandered his way out of my subconscious,
Back to fondle with my forbidden feelings,
Reminding me that romance is only dead because I killed it.
I swallow down the reality that threatens to emerge.
I'm alone.
And I don't want to be.
I lock my eyes shut and bury my face in the suffocating comfort of a stuffed animal.
Man, I hate love songs.